Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
She tied me up with her honor cords...
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
YAS. BRING CRAB.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
