I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
