ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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