I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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