just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
