I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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