Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
