My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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