i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
