its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
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At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
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What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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