uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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