I hope mine doesn't look like that
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
