Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize