You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
