Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
