I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
