Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
She bit a glass in half.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
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