So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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