Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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