wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
