Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
