and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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