hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
