u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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