Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
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sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize