My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
