Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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