at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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