im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
