She said her name was "party"
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
