I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
