Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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