So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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