Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize