I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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