Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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