I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
