I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
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Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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