Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
