I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
