OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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