okay pat passed out under dana's car
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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