I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Fuck me I smell like cheese
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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