This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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