Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
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My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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