Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
