I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
