the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
did you just send me my own nude
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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