Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize