so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
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