You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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