oh god was she eating orange peels again
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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