After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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