All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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