But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
you inspire me to be a worse person
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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