Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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