when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize