Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
